Bedford Public Library

Your dad stole my rake and other family dilemmas, Tom Papa

eng

no index present

humor satires etc

Your dad stole my rake and other family dilemmas

Tom Papa

"It?s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa. How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of inescapable characters and their bizarre behavior? Especially when you?re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most ludicrous yet surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, to uncles who use marijuana as a condiment?not to mention the regular wives and husbands who populate this great nation. Papa knows about life among the savages. Let him tell you some iron-clad truths and observations in such chapters as: - Tiger Mom v. Ice-Cream Mom - Stop Trying to be Cool - In Defense of Family Vacations - No Fighting Before Coffee - Least Popular Baby Names - The Wife Lie Detector - Your Cat Thinks You?re Too Needy. Anyone who has a family, grew up in a family, or has spent time with another human being will love this book."--Book jacket flap

Mom & dads. No presents for Dad ; Call your mother before she's dead ; Tiger Mom vs. Ice-cream Mom ; Things you find on Mom ; Don't ask your father ; Your children should at least think you might spank them ; Things you find on Dad ; Stop trying to be cool -- Children. Welcome to plain pasta, can I take your oder? ; The kid with the googly eye ; Your baby doesn't want to go anywhere with you ; Boys stink ; How to yell at your children ; Morning people ; In defense of family vacations ; The happiest place on earth? ; No fighting before coffee ; Least popular baby names ; School sucks! -- Family life. Someone threw up there ; Worst family vacation spots ; Nuttier than a fruitcake ; No phones at the tablay ; Stay out of the emergency room ; Tell me that story again ; Bad family games ; Birthday parties belong at home ; Fun family traditions -- Husbands. There are no great guys ; Don't drag him to an art gallery while on vacation ; Things husbands lie about ; You aren't marrying who you think you are ; John is dead -- Wives. The wife lie detector ; the importance of the forced romantic getaway ; We'll sleep when we're dead ; That cute thing she does ; What men think their wives do in the bathroom ; Leave the past alone ; There's no such thing as a soul mate -- Pets. Your cat thinks you're too needy ; Your dog doesn't want to go to a restaurant with you ; Get a fish ; Good family pets ; Requiem for Smokey ; Bad family pets -- Grandparents. Fishing for sky ; Old people shouldn't twerk ; Perfect gift ideas for Grandma ; Who's watching who? ; Bad gift ideas for Grandma -- The outlaws. Your father-in-law doesn't like you either ; Best places to bring your daughter's boyfriend ; Your Mom's not the boss of me -- Brothers & sisters. Mistake in the woods ; The brother I never had -- Aunts, uncles & cousins too. Cool aunt vs. creepy aunt ; Uncle Al, all the kids' pal ; Cool things to do with your uncle when you're young ; Your cousins will ruin your life -- Strangers. Rocky Road ; New Americans (Trolls ; Techno-idiots ; The super sports fan ; The angry, middle-aged white guy ; Hot moms ; Know-nothing life masters) ; People to avoid on a plane -- And finally...just eat the bread